http://annasramblingstake2.blogspot.com/2011/08/dear-alkaline-trio.htm
I take it back, apart from two absolutely fucking awful tracks Damnesia is an incredible album. Still not forgiving you guys for Calling all Skeletons and This addiction though.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
"Chapter 1"
Holy fuck! So I just wrote "Chapter 1" under the title of my novel. I'm sending it out to my writing group so I thought I'd clarify that it's the first chapter. (Normally I never number my chapters (probably because I never get far enough along before OH SHINY!) or name them.) I already have most of the chapter so it's not even on a blank page but the psychological reaction was stunning. Because "Chapter 1" is like the most fucking awful thing EVAH to write! It immediately sends you into a cold sweat and it's like you're all of a sudden incapable of stringing letters together to make up words, never mind sentences. What lies before you is a never ending amount of pages to fill and it all starts with "Chapter 1"... Just thinking that combination makes me want to defenestrate myself. Which would be kinda pointless since I don't live that far off the ground but all the same. PANIC!
On Time Wasting
"You're nothing if not a catch" I was told the other day. In all fairness, it was in agreement to my exclamation that I am a catch, but all the same. And seriously, I am. There are endless words describing just how awesome I am. How about funny. Witty. Intelligent. Intellectual. Cute, sparkly, quirky, insane, charming, hot. And of course awesome. (And not modest.)
But despite all these great qualities I'm still not being caught. In all honesty though, I don't think it's necessarily that no one's trying to catch me, but rather that I don't want to be caught, or I don't want to be caught by the people trying to catch me. And I suppose that's fair enough.
However, there seems to be an epidemic rippling through society; it's like women nowadays have become as emotionally retarded as men. It's all about protecting yourself from hurt and disappointment. And we don't want to waste time on someone who's not worth it. Of course, that's understandable. But at the same time, we're allowing what little time we have to get wasted on waiting for something.. I don't know... Better?
I have so many single girlfriends - don't think I've ever had so many single girlfriends at the same time! And they're all great and would make some man a good wife (calm down, it's a joke!). But the excuses - "I have lost my confidence"; "I don't think we have anything in common"; "he had something stuck in his teeth"; or even worse, the ones that are in some sort of holding pattern with some dude: "I'll wait and see what happens, maybe he'll be more available after they've signed the contract". When did we all stop living? Is this what getting older does to you? You have to consider things x100 and lose all hope before you dare to enter? Making excuses for why we don't do things.
We're wasting so much time, waiting or being scared and not wanting to get hurt again. NEWS FLASH! Life is suffering! What's the point in being semi-dead for the next 40-50 years just to make sure that your precious feelings don't get a little frayed? At least then you know you've lived. Of course as we get older, we know what we don't want, but probably still unsure exactly what it is we want.
Because the truth is it doesn't exist. It was made up by ad guys to sell stuff, which we happily buy in to. We want to be told what love is supposed to look like, so we recognize it when we see it. But we'll never find that one perfect person because that person will never exist. So isn't it better to stop thinking so much and grab happiness where we can find it? Stop wasting all this time in an effort to protect our little feelings? Isn't life supposed to be a bit of fun?!
Author's note: This is a general pondering; I'm not talking about myself. I know exactly what I want and where to grab my happiness.
But despite all these great qualities I'm still not being caught. In all honesty though, I don't think it's necessarily that no one's trying to catch me, but rather that I don't want to be caught, or I don't want to be caught by the people trying to catch me. And I suppose that's fair enough.
However, there seems to be an epidemic rippling through society; it's like women nowadays have become as emotionally retarded as men. It's all about protecting yourself from hurt and disappointment. And we don't want to waste time on someone who's not worth it. Of course, that's understandable. But at the same time, we're allowing what little time we have to get wasted on waiting for something.. I don't know... Better?
I have so many single girlfriends - don't think I've ever had so many single girlfriends at the same time! And they're all great and would make some man a good wife (calm down, it's a joke!). But the excuses - "I have lost my confidence"; "I don't think we have anything in common"; "he had something stuck in his teeth"; or even worse, the ones that are in some sort of holding pattern with some dude: "I'll wait and see what happens, maybe he'll be more available after they've signed the contract". When did we all stop living? Is this what getting older does to you? You have to consider things x100 and lose all hope before you dare to enter? Making excuses for why we don't do things.
We're wasting so much time, waiting or being scared and not wanting to get hurt again. NEWS FLASH! Life is suffering! What's the point in being semi-dead for the next 40-50 years just to make sure that your precious feelings don't get a little frayed? At least then you know you've lived. Of course as we get older, we know what we don't want, but probably still unsure exactly what it is we want.
Because the truth is it doesn't exist. It was made up by ad guys to sell stuff, which we happily buy in to. We want to be told what love is supposed to look like, so we recognize it when we see it. But we'll never find that one perfect person because that person will never exist. So isn't it better to stop thinking so much and grab happiness where we can find it? Stop wasting all this time in an effort to protect our little feelings? Isn't life supposed to be a bit of fun?!
Author's note: This is a general pondering; I'm not talking about myself. I know exactly what I want and where to grab my happiness.
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