I'm currently outdoing myself in the mess department. I can't find myself in this mess, never mind things I might actually need like my keys and phone. Everything is upside down in my apartment, at work I'm chasing myself for work which I was supposed to have done days or even weeks ago, trying to get to the gym 4-5 times a week so I don't have to have surgery to reduce my breasts is impossible and I think I'm going to have to get a cleaner because, as so astutely said in August: Osage County, washing my underpants is getting in the way of my drinking. And as if that wasn't enough, the mess in my head is worse than ever. Perpetual. Obsessive. So what's new?
Finishing the novel in the midst of this mess - challenging. But I'm trying. And I'm trying hard. After the difficulty with rewriting Chapter 1 completely I've definitely put it to bed. It was particularly hard because nothing in the second half of the chapter was no longer relevant to the story, and I had to cut so much of what I considered to be really good writing and ideas I wanted to explore further. I do love my sentences - they are rather beautiful. But before Chapter 1 is ready for my editors, I'm taking it to a new writing group on Tuesday - it's going to be interesting to hear what people I have never met (I don't even know their names) have to say about it.
On to Chapter 2 and 3. For some reason I started working in parallel on them, which is not a good idea. Yesterday I spent looking through all the comments I've had on the various versions of those two chapters (and changing hyphens to dashes - god damn it Word!) and decide what I thought were valid points. Today I was supposed to finish them both but here I am blogging instead. I will though. Jag ska bara...
But truthfully I'm really quite excited. By the 101st birthday celebration - that's my FINAL deadline - I will have finished my first novel and start my second. I have my three editors lined up - one has no choice, the other two have expressed their wish to read it. All the themes are coming together, and at a workshop on Friday I was told the way I manage to weave the story around the themes is really impressive. To which I had to admit that I'm not even aware of it half the time. I was then told that in that case I have an incredible talent. Which I do. I kid, I kid!
Well, I half kid.