Kick Me. Hard.

An abysmal weekend. From a writing point of view.

What started off as a well-drafted plan with time for everything I needed to do, and some downtime too, quickly evaporated as the allocated time got sucked into various black holes. Mainly of nothingness.

Even with the declaration of the deadline and even though I actually want to write I’m finding it hard to motivate myself right now. Don’t get me wrong, as soon as I sit down to write I do write and I write for hours. It’s just the sitting down bit that isn’t quite working out for me. My head is always overly active with this, that and the other and it takes a lot of effort to keep it silent so anything which can distract me from it is welcomed in with enthusiasm. So you’d think writing would be a positive distraction.

And it is. When I get around to it.

So what did I do with my weekend?

     Saturday

• Being the disorganized mess I am (I can’t stand the chaos I create but at the same time I am unable to not wreck everything as I go along) I needed to sort my domestic situation out. And I can’t concentrate when my surroundings are in such disarray.
• Errands.  
• Met a friend for what initially was meant to be a 2-3 hour afternoon coffee but ticked over into cocktails and dinner.
• Watched Seven Psychopaths (finally).

Sunday  

• More sorting out of mess made (the extent to which I mess things up is well beyond an hour of returning things to their rightful places).  
• A 15k run (I need to run more, for my insanity and also so I can get back into my clothes I spent the winter eating myself out of fitting into) followed by spending 1 ½ hours (yes NINETY minutes) trying to get Nike+ to add the 15k on to the 22k I’d already run earlier in the week (still not working).
• When I finally admitted how futile that was, I listlessly poked at some impact case studies (work) and dealt with some work emails.
• At 9.30pm I was so fed up with myself I sat down and edited a chapter I’d previously thrown out but have now decided to use after all – so luckily I come out at the end of the weekend with 2000 words despite my best effort (though really more like 0 since they were really already written).

So. Not. Impressed.

One of the reasons I got a mentor was to have structure and so it’d motivate me to write more. Paying someone a hefty amount every month ensures I do at least produce what I hand over for comment - roughly 5000 words. 5000 words is about the length of my chapters, and I do write more than that in a month, but it’s nowhere near enough if I want to finish this damn thing. And I do. I fucking do!

Conclusion – I need a kick in the ass. Anyone like to volunteer?